Blog

( )


The Blow, from Portland, OR. They have super awesome smart lyrics and the music is great.

http://www.myspace.com/theblowus

Check out the lyrics:


Some philosophies fuel a belief in the self,
constructed to keep one’s goods on one’s own shelf.
Built well you’re a strong letter I,
with the feet on the ground and the head to the sky.
Now and then you can bend,
it’s okay to lean over my way.
You fear that you can’t do it all,
and you’re right.
Even diligent day takes relief every day
from its work making light from the night.

And when you’re holding me
we make a pair of parentheses.
There’s plenty space to encase
whatever weird way my mind goes,
I know I’ll be safe in these arms.

If something in the deli aisle makes you cry
you know I’ll put my arm around you
and I’ll walk you outside,
through the sliding doors,
why would I mind?

You’re not a baby if you feel the world.
All of the babies can feel the world. That’s why they cry.

Mon Aug 11, 2008 8:58 AM | Category: Music | no responses

..but not as crazy as me

How many books and movies and how to’s are there for neurotic 20 somethings that are trying to cope with the everyday world. Why is it that “back then” people seemingly had less stress, had better marriage rates and less troubles with themselves. I mean - all before the days of medication and self help books, how were people doing it?

It’s interesting that troubles, worrying, nervousness, being scared of life really isn’t limited to an age, sex or race. It’s across the board. Some are more aware of it, some hide it, some just pretend they don’t have any issues to the point of just believing it and therefore seem to function better in society. This is just one perception from one 20-something neurotic female. Definitely take it with a grain of salt.

 I am not a great liar. My face contorts itself to the emotions in which I am feeling; generally extreme irritation to extreme happiness but only when in front of a plate of steaming hot delicious food. Doesn’t matter what kind of food, as long as its food.

 I am only 27 (nearly) and I have accepted that the ME that only I KNOW of will always be in hiding. But that was okay, because even I didn’t want to meet me. How do you finally get to a point where you are ready to bring that person out? What crutches are there? You’ve gone this long without having to introduce her to anyone, so why now? I know I am a big baby, I am emotional, I feel a lot and it messes with my head. I am ashamed sometimes of my emotions and my thoughts and how neutoric I am but I think I am ashamed because people are assholes. And assholes tell me all the time to get over it, and assholes tell me I am too needy and too emotional and then equate that with being crazy. You guys are assholes. Really.

To tell someone who they should be, how they should function, its ridiculous. If something bothers me, I should not get over it because you tell me so, I should get over it if I am not happy with how I am feeling about it. Only I should be able to dictate how I should react to one thing or another, not you.

If I am overly sensitive, than I am. Kudos to you for having a thicker skin, I will get there, but not by your measure and certainly not by your encouragement.

For as open as I am, and for as emotionally open as I am and vocal with how I feel and my thoughts, no one knows me and I think no one will. But there is a certain peace knowing that only I can see myself. I will always feel lonely but you will never know because I try to put on a happy face.

 If you love someone, support them. If you don’t know how to support them, then you ask. You do not apply your own ideas of support to their issues or their problems. Everyone handles everything differently, everyone needs to be handled in a specific manner.

I am selfish I know this, and I often times lose sight of my behavior and its affect on other people, there is a fine balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of the ones you love. Not everyone is consistent, not everyone needs a hug or a talk or a therapist. Some people just need to know that should they ever fall, you are there for them. That’s all.

I am continuously learning how to be a better person. and I do not mean “do good”, attend baby showers and give really great wedding presents or call you on your birthday. Those things are great, great, but not internal.

I mean to be completely accepting of people, to communicate, to be open, to be honest, to be loyal, to love, to be more positive, try not to judge, try not to speak ill of people.

I REALIZE I suck sometimes and I am not an example of this, but that is my goal and it will take a lifetime and perhaps I won’t ever get there but its where I am headed should you want to come along.

I am cheese. But hey, it’s who I am. Love it.

Mon Aug 11, 2008 8:44 AM | Category: Life | no responses

 


Copyright © 2007 Christina Lam