Someone should tell you, your baby is ugly
I know it’s quite a difficult time when all your girlfriends and relatives are popping out babies left and right. I am sure it makes it even more difficult when those babies are pretty freaking ugly.
I understand that fresh baby straight from the vage might be a difficult time to really access the potential good looks of the baby in question, but what amount of time do we allow?
What is a good time frame to determine if your baby is just pre-maturely ugly, or if the ugly will be a permanent fixture on the babies face.
It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine tries to hide that she thinks her friends baby is horrendous looking. I think there should be a website, or perhaps there is. And you can submit a picture of the “cutest baby in the world” since every mother seems to think her deformed child is the cutest and then an anonymous team of baby judges can just thumbs up or down your child. This would clearly mitigate any pressures your surrounding friends might feel in telling you the truth. Now that you know your child is in fact ugly, perhaps you’d stop filling your myspace/facebook albums with its pink blotchy deformed face. No amount of fuzzy socks, cute little frog hats, or baby mittens will cover that ugly. Oh and that baby of yours with its eyeballs shifting slightly to the left, sorry its not “cute” its retarded.
So please friends, stop tagging your albums with “cutest baby in the world” unless you have in fact put your child’s photo through rigorous stages of judgement all over the world.

Thank You
