What do you mean fake?
I went to this local bar/ music venue place in Dallas this past weekend. I never had any trouble with my I.D before. I mean from time to time at my 7-11 the dude behind the counter might think hes being cute rather than obnoxious when he accuses me of taking my sisters ID but I usually still get my pack of ciggs and I am happy.
This Friday though, I think toddlers would have less trouble trying to purchase a fire arm than what I was met with. He seriously examined my ID for God knows how long. He proceeded to check the front, then the back, then the front, ran his fingers across it, bent it for good measure. Still not convinced? Uh okay, well - dip it in a ph balanced solution if you need to or whatever else. Heck, he even took a black light to it a few times and then turned it sideways, angled it. Still wasn’t convinced. The guy putting on bracelets at the counter just stared at me and I felt like a criminal. I started getting nervous. Why? This is MY ID and that is really me and I am really 27. I can see now why the innocent end up confessing to something they didn’t do. You almost feel like you really did do something wrong when under such scrutiny. He finally asked for another form of ID that had my name on it - handed him my Credit Card with photo Id and my signature. Finally he lets me in. Really guy? Was it necessary? I am about to spend 7 bucks cover and throw down about 30 in alcohol.
So my response to that was - hey thanks for the flattery but I am really 27. You’d think I would at least make a fake Id that would scan properly and one that was more believable, I guess age 24 would work. So yes it was flattering but really obnoxious at the same time because all of that was just completely unnecessary. I feel like I should carry around my passport from now on.
Remember, you are searching within Texas
It’d be nice for this little disclaimer to pop up should you ever decide to get bored at work, or even seriously perusing the Internet for dating potentials. Like a reminder or fair warning that you are in fact, searching for suitors in the boundaries of Texas.
It’s Texas, not you.
That is at least what I tell myself when a sea of bubba’s pull up in my match query after stating that a college education and making over 50K a year is required. Okay, maybe not necessarily a requirement, but preferred. I also added that I am into the arts and music, entertainment, books, photography and painting. How could Bubba Dagwood score a 93 in interests compatibility with me? His picture looks like the cover of TRUCKING or, Field & Stream. It was rather discouraging to see a plethora of guys posing in front of their trucks with a fishing rod in their hands, or the opposite; a douche on a sailboat (rental probably) with his pink collared hoisted high enough to accent his frosted tips.
Is this the result of living in Texas? Do I blame my parents for this geographical fubah? Or do I accept facts and just consider these as my new potential mates. Regardless of my political stance or music choices it seems that this is what I get stuck with. So much for hesitating on whether or not I wanted to supply funds for a new bout of dating victims. I decided that I will just fill out free profiles all around the Internet and then delete them all within a week due to hopelessness.
It’s not even that I seriously want to date, I think I just want to be preoccupied with something that won’t require a lot of brain power or emotional stress. Would I be able to take on something serious? I probably might fool myself into it but then decide in the end I would much rather live in fear of loss, rather than experiencing it.
On to what prompted me to write this in the first place. On this dating site, it gives you options to rate your attractiveness level, whether or you are a plain jane, average, above average, extremely attractive, heart throb, super model etc. It seems that a lot of Bubbas in Texas are confusing their below average looks to be on par with supermodels. It saddening when you try to dwindle down your matches with a check mark on the “extremely attractive” box and the same Joe Schmoes show up. I’ll just go back to being content being single, hanging out with my girlfriends and holding on to any shred of hope that I will
1) Move away from the South
2) Be extremely cold and shacked up with a mentally compatible partner in the Pacific Northwest.
Why say it? When you can text it!
I know I get annoyed easily, people like to remind me of this obvious fact. I also know I hate the telephone unless I am using it to talk about myself. Hey some people pretend they aren’t egotistic, I like to lay it out there.
The phone is good for emergencies, it’s also good for calling your friends to arrange happy hour and that’s about it. Oh, and arguments, you can’t really text argument because one of the great things about arguing is being able to interrupt and yell louder than they can to make your point known.
I used to be different. I used to love talking to someone for hours on the telephone. Now I find myself really only using it if I need a prompt response or if I am trying to arrange something.
I mostly prefer texts or aim or email. But I understand some people are not as wired to those devices as I am. I don’t have fancy gadgets on my phone, it’s a brick I got for free from my sister. I can’t even send pictures on it.
Some people just don’t seem to understand the beauty of texts. It TRAINS you on how to keep it simple, important facts only. No Fluff. Get to the point please. I am very impatient and hate details, I just need pertinent facts like when and where. I hate when I think I am saving time by texting people details or an invite to meet up and they respond with five follow-up questions, I generally just tell them nevermind and they are uninvited.
You are just too restricted with a phone on your ear. You can’t carry on more than one conversation, you can’t take a poop (though some people still do), you can’t do the dishes, watch a show, chat on the internet, change, shave your legs. You get my drift.
So basically. Text me please. If its important call me but keep it under five minutes unless it is an emergency. If it’s important but not urgent, email works best.
Obama-nation
Please, stop visiting
O’ My sweet zit triangle of death, I know you and I have quite a history together. You were always there during the most emotional of mood swings, supporting me through all my roller coasters of emotions and then leaving me when all was well.
But it’s that time. I must tell you that I no longer need you around. I mean, after all I am older now, 27 to be exact. I thought you were going to part ways with me five years ago but I was sadly mistaken. I have enjoyed your company because you do not usually stay very long and people seem to notice my face more when you are around, but I think I will take my chances without you.
Please do not get your feelings hurt and recruit more of your friends only to bury your way back into my heart causing me a weeks worth of grief. I know it comes as a shock, but really zit triangle of death, please stop visiting.
In the know
My Bro-in-Law created a game you can play online called Headline Fantasy. Basically the idea of the game is to set up your terms, categories, number of players and length of the time the game will run. Sign up, create a name. Join a public league or create your own and set how ever many players are allowed to join. Once all players join and enter in their search word, the game starts. Pick broad headline terms that you think are in heavy circulation, for example “Obama” is a damn good word along with “terrorists”. Once you get the hang of it you can kick some major ass.
For you newbs, here is a hint, if the character minimum is 2 or 3. Aim for the “of”, “to”, “and”. Yeah sure its cheating, but whatever gets you the highest scores right?
Do it because I tell you to and then join my many leagues!
Jizz in my pants!
Ohai spirit of E
So you came back to say hello did you? It’s been what…7 months since you visited me last? This time though you looked a little thinner and your hair was shorter but my my, still handsome as ever.
I know your bday was about a week ago, I did think about you briefly and how you might be celebrating it. I know other people are having a harder time since you left us but just know I still thought about you!
It was different this time for me, I am sure for you too. As a matter of fact, I don’t know why you came at all. Don’t get me wrong, I am always happy to see your beautiful grin but I still was just left a little confused as to the message in your visit. I remember you telling me that I better pay attention to you and I sarcastically responded, “oh yes..riiiight because this is the last time I’ll ever see you”.
I hope not.
I hope you come again, even if its another 7 months or even years.
I still think about our moment together when I blast that Phil Collins tune, one more night.
Take care. Hope you had a fantastic Birthday and thanks for visiting.
Reunited through Craigslist
Do I get to be on Ellen now explaining my story of my Heroic jerk of an escape artist dog?
No?
Well then I will settle for just telling you my story.
Yesterday at work I posted a Myspace bulletin and told all my friends and posted a Craigslist ad. Then last night my friend Amanda and I hung about 40 flyers for Missing T down my street and a street next to it.
I started crying when I sat down to watch tv because Taco usually pisses the shit out of me when I am trying to relax. Also, it really hits home when you are in your kitchen cooking dinner and there is no dog staring at you hoping you’d drop something. And when I actually do drop a morsel of food, its really sad to have to pick it up yourself and you were used to your lil bud being a vacuum cleaner for you.
Anyway this morning a Brandon Schutz calls me and tells me he has my dog Taco. That the odd thing was, he had been calling Taco, “Taco Supremo” since he found him because he looked like a Taco.
Apparently he jumped in this dudes car sun afternoon near the Texaco over here.
Brandon was going to take him to the vet today to see if he was chipped. I also was going to cover the street that Brandon lives on tonight with more flyers. Taco and I walk on that street sometimes and I didnt have enough flyers to cover that street and sure enough, its kinda weird that was where he was all along!
He refused my measly reward money.
I am very excited to have my dog back, his leg was wounded before he escaped. Now I will just have to break them both so he does not get too far from me.
(jokes)
Don’t call the Animal Abuse Police on me!
Welcome back lil’ buddy
Twinsies is not for meesies
But its for my sissies. Well just one.
I think I am allowed to post this headless preggers shot of her.
I did pictures two weekends ago. It was my first time to shoot someone pregnant and also to use a strobe light by myself.
I rented from lighttec.com. That’s my shout out. They are so nice over there and super friendly and the prices are really reasonable.
I will do shoots for anyone as long as they are willing to pay for all rental equipment costs and then whatever else price I arrange.
Anyway I think this is my favorite shot.
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